Turkey day was great. Being Filipino, we aren’t the biggest turkey fan. We had baked macaroni, spaghetti, honey glazed ham, filipino menudo and more. We ate to our hearts content. It definitely was better than last year. Although, I enjoyed spending it with my friends last year, I didn’t have to sneak in to see my nephews, eat my sister’s cooking, and enjoy time with my family. We sang, we played games and it was all very good. I have a lot of things to be grateful for this year, but at the same time, there are a lot of uncertain things in my life as well. As I approach my senior year of college, i wonder if I will be able to get a job. Where will I end up. How do I give back to my family? I also search for where I belong. Though, I have many friends that care about me, I still feel alone and lonely. I hide it with work and busying myself. I hope that it doesn’t surface.
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The Thing About Marriages…
I find myself dealing with this lately and it is hard to avoid it as a Latter-day Saint because of the expectations that fall upon us by mere tradition alone. In a world that paints an idyllic wedding and berates the work that goes behind the scenes, its sanctity has become some of sort comic relief. Here are some examples.
“Marry Me,” Bruno Mars.
It is a beautiful night/ we’re looking for something dumb to do/ who cares, baby/ I think I want to marry you.
I’m a big fan of Bruno Mars and even this song when they did a song and dance number of it on Glee, but when I started singing the song in the shower and realized the words, I was taken aback. The tempo and beat hides the fact that marriage is something frivolous and can be taken care of easy. Waking up the morning after should not include the talk of how it was fun, but now let’s deal with it as if it never happened. The sort of fidelity and deep-rooted trust and confidence in one another is lost. I guess because it is a human contract that it is easy to find ways around it. An annulment here, a divorce there, and a settlement here ought to fix that “dumb” thing we had done while we were inebriated.
“This is not marriage- this is the world’s worst hangover!” from “The One After Vegas,” Friends: Season 6 x 01.
Years before Rachel decided that she needed to come clean about her feelings for Ross and flies to London to tell Ross she loves him. Her presence being the catalyst to the demise of Ross marriage with Emily. Years later, still with unresolved feelings, the duo gets drunk in Las Vegas and marry each other in their inebriated state.
In order to “rectify” the situation they decide to have their marriage annulled leaving Ross with three failed marriages. Signing a contract while not ones self should constitute some sort of legal protection, if only to avoid scenes like these. As Ross shows, it is not that easy. There are people and feelings involved in the process and emotions that cannot be turned on and off like a switch.
My friend posted this on his Facebook wall yesterday which made me think, we should really define marriage!
“The following post has to do with politics.
Why don’t we give civil unions the same rights, benefits and privileges as marriage, but still call it a civil union?
That way, the Republican side gets to keep their marriage and the Democratic side gets to feel like gays are not being denied rights. Marriage is a RELIGIOUS institution, gays and liberals aren’t trying to tear down churches and belief systems, they just want equal treatment for homosexuals. Both sides can win.”
-Dave Keeler
Is it really that easy? Can we really differentiate marriages and civil unions? Marriages are to Republicans as civil unions are to Democrats? Can the wording, this where my legal training kicks in, give the covenant and practice of marriage the sanctity it deserves?
His friend, Ryan Cobb, highlights a good point: to some people there is no difference between personal belief and political reality. Is this true?
The thing about marriages is that it is already hard enough. There are many factors that one must consider before making that choice to be bound with someone legally for the rest of their lives and it must be taken seriously.
General Young Women President Elaine S. Dalton of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, recently spoke to students at BYU-Idaho about the precursor to marriage– dating. I think she describes the key to a more meaningful marriage as she talks about dating, that it is about leaving our comfort zones and doing great things. About dating she says:
Now for my discovery about dating—nothing has changed really. And it’s precisely because you haven’t changed. You see the principle is that the structure is perfectly designed to get the results it gets. Let me illustrate this principle. Take this potato peeler—which you have to be familiar with here in Rexburg! See how it works. It is perfectly designed to get these results! Even this little point is designed perfectly to remove the eyes of the potatoes and look at these results. So in order to get results or dates here on this campus or any campus or anywhere there are young single adults, you have to redesign the structure for the intended results. And of course that means you must determine, and I mean seriously determine just what results you really want—really! So instead of talking to you about marriage and family, I am going to start on a more elementary level. Let’s just focus on getting dates. Dates for the purpose, of course, of finding an eternal companion, but let’s do first things first! Because you certainly can’t marry, and become parents of a beautiful family, unless you actually go on a date (probably a lot of dates). So let’s start there. I am going to suggest a structure change.
The thing about marriages isn’t in the name. It isn’t in how we differentiate one from the other. It is in recognizing the sanctity of the union that is blessed by our Creator for the purpose of blessing His earthly family, us, His children. It must follow the structure, not on a whim, not by pressure, but by doing things to get results.
My religion teacher told me that he has learned a lot of people our age and one thing that he noticed that worked is that when we enjoy someones company and continue to do so, then you can talk about marriage and the plans to do so. Marriage is a binding covenant with a Heavenly Father.
Play, China King, Compton, and Mochi
I owe an apology. First, this needed to have come up on Friday, but I was able to post at least something for those that follow me and today has been full of posts and cleaning and it is all worth it.
Friday was an exciting day. Having played hooky because there was no work, I picked up my friend Angela for a non-formal date to see August:Osage County over at the college. Stupid me, not reading the press release or anything beforehand, we went in not knowing that it is going tobe filled with strong language and Angela is not used to the, I guess is the word. I grew up watching plays and being in plays, cussing is tolerable and does not make my ears bleed. Man, that was an awesome play, except I could do without the Indian girl. She just didn’t do it for me. You can read all about that here: http://www.cychron.com/a-reunion-of-sorts-1.2669711#.TsAPwsMk6so. I watched the rest of the production online the following day, but because I was a gentleman, we left after the first intermission. She was happy about that. POINT!
So we go and eat the CHINA KING! Hmmm, delectable food. They close at the and we noticed they were covering their stations up, so we figured that that was our cue to leave. Man, we are pretty smart. So we get into the car and we decided that we were going to her house and have mochi. As she starts to telephone her friend, I see an African-American male headed our direction. Assuming he was going to solicit money, I tell Angela to lock her doors. We failed at that. He comes over to my side and I roll my window down. He asks if he could borrow a phone and that he needed to go somewhere.
I do not know what really was going through my mind, but the next thing I know, I am letting him in the car. Awkward moment as he yells at his baby mama on the phone and we are en route to the hotel they are staying in. We got him there, after Angela talks to hima nd we find out he is from Compton and is looking for a place here in the OC. I gave him a pass-along card!
Apparently, this whole time Angela was freaking out! hahaha, i got it from her and her roommates. When Angela told the story, I was thinking to myself, wow, did I really do that? What provoked me to do so? We could have both been in danger. Remind me not to do that again!
Horse$#!+, China King, Amir, and Mochi
This was the site where it all happened. Scared my date to death.
Saturday
This month, Saturday will be a day of service. My ward, the local LDS congregation that I attend, has been privileged to provide help in many different capacities. There are service opportunities within the ward and also out in the community that allow for us to mingle with other like-minded people and serve in whatever manner we are needed.
On Wednesday, we were assigned to fulfill a temple assignment. The Newport Beach Temple, built in 2005, has asked that our ward provide people to perform ordinances for the dead. These included baptisms and confirmations via proxy. I know it sounds unorthodox to perform ordinances for those who have passed on, but trust me, it is not a seance. Because we believe that families are to be bound in the eternities, we look for our dead ancestors and offer them the same opportunity to receive the Gospel in spirit. No bodies are exhumed or anything, but because the first ordinances of salvation are baptism for the remission of sins and receiving the Holy Ghost, we are affording them the chance, through proxy, of accepting the ordinances that were done for them.
I have had some incredible spiritual moments doing baptisms for them. A couple of years ago, I was a part of a Church youth camp where I was in charge of 10 rowdy teenage boys. I have grown to love these boys. Many of them are serving missions while the rest are preparing to serve, there is one young man however that I had a hard time finding affection for. He was loud, and arrogant. When he was with his friend from his hometown, they were both disobedient and caused a lot of trouble for me. I could not think of a way to open my heart fully to this young man. Then the day of our temple assignment came. It was really hot and humid and I tried to focus on the temple and the sweet feeling it brings and how I how these young man will see what a difference they make as they serve in the house of the Lord.
When we fill temple assignments, we are encouraged to bring our own family names, our ancestors who have gone on without receiving the gospel. None of my other young man brought names, we used the ones that the temple had. It was an overwhelming feeling of thanks and gratitude and I could not be moved as I felt a connection with each of my young men. I was surprised that my problem child had brought his own names! I mean, if he had been given thempreviuosly, with how messy he was, I would have figured he lost it. However, as he gave his ancestors names to the recorder, I saw his clasping on to them dearly. it was a different side of him that I was seeing. I was taken aback. When he got into the water with me I joked with him a little bit about the names and we laughed.
That young man inspired me to do my own family history. As he was baptised on behalf of his deceased relatives, I felt them around us thanking us for performing the ordinances that they have waited so long to do. And they thanked me, for being patient and caring about this young man who had sought out their names.
Here I was, getting paid to watch a bunch of teenagers, creating an environment for them to have spiritual experiences, when this whole time, they knew how. I was humbled and the rest of the week went splendidly as I relied on them to bear their testimonies of the Gospel through their actions. The youth of this Church is a stalwart army.
So Saturday is a special day because it is a day we get ready for Sunday. Had I woken up early, I would be helping put up Christmas lights at the Los Angeles California Temple and seeing people serve because they want to, their own testimonies had gotten them there. I can still prepare for Sunday though I am not serving in that capacity. I can get what I will wear ready, clean my room, and read my scriptures. The best way to gain a spiritual experience is to be an experience.
Every year
lifeisajumprope and theconvertcard come together as one!
In Production class this week, we were informed that we should no longer post our blogs on the school paper’s page because of disputes with College Publisher and other things.
I was a little miffed because I had just started the ball rolling. So the decision came to put the two blogs together under lifeisajumprope and separate them by categories. Let us see if this will work!
Below is the explanation of my other blog: The Convert Card.
The Convert Card
My name is Mark-Anthony Torrocha. In 2004, I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It has been a great trip and it continues to be as I immerse myself in a truly different Latter-day Saint culture and answer questions as to why I joined. That part has always been hard to describe because they came as feelings and thoughts that for me were a manifestation of my Heavenly Father’s love for me. This blog is aimed to express just that, the reason for my conversion. Life has been so different ever since and my greatest achievements and happiness can be traced through my decision to join the Church.
The term “Convert Card” is a funny excuse some recent converts use to explain their own idiosyncrasies when it comes to understanding the Latter-day Saint status quo. Life is full of odd things and sometimes you just have to play the “Convert Card.”
Osage County
A lot of discussion happened around this table when I saw the play August: Osage County. What all went on with my night and the play? Find out soon!
Here is the review for the production, August: Osage County.
http://www.cychron.com/a-reunion-of-sorts-1.2669711#.TsAPwsMk6so
My Magazine’s Blog
http://www.cychron.com/cypress-chronicle/blog/convertcard.
Some time alone…
Finished The Hunger Games.
It took a lot of stolen time from my day, but I was finally able to finish Suzanne Collins best-seller. It reminded me of the pleasures of leisure reading, something that I have been trying to gain back. Early in my collegiate career, I had dismissed it because it could not fit between work, and school. When Church assignments came into place, I completely shut it because of my futile efforts. Even reading to gain new insight just for fun now entwined itself with necessary readings for classroom discussions.
The book also reminded me of the relationships that I carry on. I have a lot of things that I want to get done, especially in those relationships. I have come to know that my family is very important to me. This time that I am away from them puts all of us at a disadvantage. I wanted to be the kind of uncle that can pass on the things that I know to my nieces and nephews. To share with them the struggle and hardships that I went through growing up and do it effectively so that they can better equip themselves for the battles ahead of them. I feel as though they are sheltered though. Brought on by the fact that me and my siblings struggled and that we do not want them to them part of the craziness of life. We speak of these things, but we cover their possible experiences.
Protection does not last long. In fact, to protect someone, the protector must endure the offensive and take damages. Even then, the damages can extend to those whom we wish to protect. Our actions are connected to one another. It is a hard concept to grip, but it is true nonetheless. Nothing is selfless.
Attraction.
When I went on a group date set up by the activities committee of my YSA ward, I did it as a joke. I fully intended on backing out last minute. The night before, the activities chair called to confirm and asked if I had any preferences. Now, here are the women, public figures, that I have had a crush on in the past couple of years, Roswell’s Liz Parker, the titular Veronica Mars, sultry Selma Hayek from Fools Rush In, Kate Todd’s Lilly of Radio Free Roscoe, and the jailbait Alex Russo, aka Selena Gomez from Wizards of Waverly Place. I like to think that I made a good selection of girls whose posters I can put on my locker, but it isn’t so much them, but the characters they portrayed that I had an admiration for. All are headstrong, with a good heart and the will that creates miracle. I see myself with someone that will complement me at my most vulnerable. Parker’s genuine care attracted the male character to her. I want someone that I can be in awe of. I seek someone who will catch my breath, not because of her ornate accessories, but because she is genuine. Her demeanor towards others is what I seek and what will make me fall for her.
I think this translates to people as set Mark up with someone social and popular like him. Someone that attracts people’s attention because of what they do, but it is the opposite. Parker’s quiet dignity is worthy of exposing my best kept secret to the world, not my theatrics.
Mars is strong and head-on. I love that she has initiative. I hate it when people ask questions when answer are easily available to them just by getting off their bum. She needs to be a critical thinker and one who thinks deductively. I think that is the only way that my wife and I can walk side by side is if she has a mind of her own. Hayek’s character in the movie shows me her devotion to the family and the Gospel. The ways she gets Matthew Perry’s character to take responsibility is very desirable. You can see that she cares. I mean, flying hotdogs over from New York is no small task. The last two I put there because these girls know how to express themselves and take responsibility when social cues are broken.
These characteristics are hard to find on a blind group date, especially if they just throw you together haphazardly. Attraction happens easily and takes no time to get the opposite forces together. It is natural because they fill the void you have in your life. When I find that someone, I’ll know and she’ll know. No runaround. She’d want to be with me just as much as I want to be with her.
Without my headphones…
I obviously have a lot more time to pay attention to the world. My sentiments about my family and my future family seem to take a front seat when it comes to all of this. Because I am not preoccupied by my Recently Added or my On-the-go playlist, I see people pair up and break apart. There are people that seek attention through various means wanting to fit into the world. I see how lucky and how grateful I should be. At the same time, I see how much I long for companionship of some sort outside the world that I live in. I know that I am not ready. I have much to repent and learn before I can bring a companion in front of the Lord and hold fast to the covenants and promises intended for me.
My friends are all paired up, if not with a companion, an activity that consumes their time, while I am left to my thoughts and the uncertainties that it can present.
